Situational Awareness: Don’t Trust People To Be Perfect

Protect yourself at all times

In an ideal world we wound’t need to lock our doors

Although I cannot speak for everyone in my audience, I feel that teaching children about evil in the world starts at a very early age. Fairy tales like Pinocchio teach children that lies have consequences, Hansel and Gretel teaches children not to trust strangers, and Goldilocks teaches us to lock our doors…even if you are a bear.

As we grow older most of these lessons stick with us. But they do have a tendency to blur over time. Especially when the lessons are contradictory. Hansel and Gretel teaches us not to trust strangers, but that’s immediately undermined by stories like Cinderella, where the main character IMMEDIATELY decides to marry someone she only met twice. Hansel and Gretel is for keeping children safe, Cinderella is to give hope to adults with dating apps it seems.

One thing that is frustrating to observe is how oblivious people can be to some dangers while having other things instinctively drilled into them. I don’t know about you, but I lock my door when I go out, JUST IN CASE someone decides to come in my house (eat my porridge, break my chair, and sleep in my bed). People SHOULD’NT do that, but there’s always the chance that someone will, so being prepared for something negative to happen is always a good strategy. I don’t leave this thinking at home. I take the notion of being prepared for the worst with me wherever I go. But many people leave that thinking at home right after they lock their door.

Let’s discuss.

A fun but less than ideal place
The third world (Yorkshire)

When I was younger I spent most of my time in the north of England in a city called Leeds. Now, personally, I would say that Leeds is a fun town, but it does have a bit of a reputation for recreational violence. The Kaiser Chiefs wrote a song called “I Predict a Riot,” which is based on a rowdy night out in Leeds, and I can attest to the kind of atmosphere that they are talking about.

In Leeds I’ve seen fights on the streets, fights in bars, I’ve seen someone thrown down a flight of stairs (in a bar), I’ve scared off thugs trying to intimidate a couple that were minding their own business, and I’ve had the displeasure of stepping over a very large pool of arterial blood (very bright red blood that was clearly from a stab wound) in front of a pub right around the corner from the accident and emergency department. If you are going to get stabbed, getting stabbed near A&E is good location.

I’ve been practicing martial arts for many years and in general, whenever I’ve been out with friends in the UK, I’ve been the one to watch out for people. This has mostly come in the form of me telling my friends we are leaving a bar because the atmosphere “feels off,” and some suspicious looking individual has been staring at me (or someone else in the group) for a while, but it’s occasionally come in the form of me setting up a physical barrier between people and getting ready to clock someone (the guy that isn’t my friend) should something kick off. The most insane altercation I’ve been in while looking after someone was when I saw a woman get punched out in front of a club and was left lying middle of the road. I moved her to the side of the road and put her in the recovery position, all while someone was trying to fight ME while shouting, “What are you, a f*cking doctor?” (I was actually the closest thing to a doctor there at the time due to my first aid training and I had friends who backed me up and let me work).

Despite its chaotic nature, I am quite fond of my home town. But there are some things about it that I would not consider, IDEAL. I am not a massive fan of the recreational violence that goes on there (or anywhere else for that matter). Although I don’t drink alcohol anymore, it would have been nice (back in the day) to be able to go to a bar or a club without the threat of someone randomly hitting me with a glass or a bottle. (I’ve had many friends who have been ‘glassed’). Leeds is generally nice, if you are able to avoid the unsavory characters there that may decide to do you harm.

People absolutely SHOULD NOT be randomly engaging in violent acts. But people do. And simply telling someone that it isn’t proper to be bashing someones head in with an empty bottle of Stella* is rarely going to stop them from doing so.

*Stella Artois is a drink that magically makes people in Leeds fight.

Living in an ideal world…in your head

There are some people that go out into the world with the idea that people will not do things because they SHOULD NOT do them. Not only that but if you tell them that they are obliviously walking into the jaws of death they will get offended and tell you that you are the one with the problem.

I understand that you SHOULD be able to go anywhere you want without anyone harming you. But just because people SHOULD NOT do something doesn’t mean they will not do something, so being appropriately prepared is sensible.

In a recent interaction on Twitter (profile pictures changed and names redacted) I observed someone in the “cosplay community” complaining about receiving attention while dressing in an attention seeking way and hanging around in an area where people gather to receive attention. (For those unfamiliar, cosplay is short for costume play. Wikipedia article here. The person in question is known for dressing in the typical Lolita fashion popular in Harajuku…but in bright pink)

(My contribution to the conversation was the Ronald McDonald meme…which got me blocked for some reason):

In this situation there are things we agree upon. I agree that people SHOULD NOT be taking pictures of others without their permission. What I will say however, is that if you don’t want people to take your picture without your permission, you can greatly reduce the chance of that happening by not dressing in cosplay and hanging around an area where people are known for taking pictures of cosplayers. Those unfamiliar with Harajuku can get a feel for what I’m talking about here. It’s not generally a place you just happen to be in. I actually avoid Harajuku like the plague due to it being so overcrowded with tourists. The author of the blog does mention that you should ask permission before taking pictures, and I agree that it is courteous to do so. However, I generally operate with the assumption that most people are nowhere close to perfect, which is always why I keep my guard up.

Some people get VERY offended when I tell them that they need to prepare for the world being full of imperfect people. They have the attitude that because they SHOULD be able to go to Harajuku (dressed like a clown) and not have people take pictures of them without permission, and I agree that they SHOULD be able to do that. Back in the day, I SHOULD have been able to go to a bar in Leeds without worrying about someone taking a dislike to me and swinging at me with a bottle. But many people in this world literally don’t care about the way the world SHOULD be and will do whatever they like.

The responsible thing to do is prepare yourself for the world that we actually live in, rather than the world you think we should live in.

Wanting the best for people in a cruel world
There’s no malice in telling people to be careful

I mentioned earlier that Leeds has a bit of a reputation for recreational violence. I’ve been doing martial arts since I was in secondary school, and when you learn martial arts in a place with a reputation for recreational violence situational awareness as a self defense tool is brought up a lot. The result of my training was that in general I was able to simply avoid most altercations.

I used to live near an area called Woodhouse Moor, which is a bit of a danger zone at night due to the lack of lights in the area. (I saw a petition about putting more lights up in the area to prevent assaults. The below picture is from that petition):

Picture credit to Felix Woods on Change.org

I generally had very few problems in this area. Mostly due to the fact I didn’t take unnecessary risks with the time that I walked through it, I didn’t take shortcuts, and where possible I walked through the area with others. Any time I did walk there at night, by myself, I was usually armed with a kebab covered in an excessive amount of chili sauce, which I planned to palm strike into someones face if they decided to attack me. (That’s a perfectly valid self defense technique. And if you don’t use your ‘weapon’ you can eat it when you get home).

Kebab or not, I would generally advise people to avoid walking through Woodhouse Moor by themselves late at night due to the potential for something bad to happen to them. That does not mean, “If you disregard my advice I want something bad to happen to you.” I acknowledge that in an ideal world you SHOULD be able to walk through Woodhouse Moor whenever you like and people SHOULD NOT attack you. But we live in a world where people do things they SHOULD NOT do and as a result I advise people to avoid situations where they may run into undesirables.

I don’t want bad things to happen to people. In general, nobody wants bad things to happen to others (unless there is something wrong with them). The world is cruel, and I want others to be able to survive it.

Take home messages

From a young age we are taught that the world is a dangerous place. There are things out there that will do you harm, so it’s important to be a good person and do the right thing to avoid a horrible fate. But as we get older we get more selective about the lessons we were taught as children. People will lock their doors but will meet up with total strangers they met on an app.

I’m lucky to have grown up in a place that had enough danger associated with it to keep me on my toes, but not so dangerous that I ended up getting badly injured (or worse). I also had some good martial arts instructors that taught me self defense, situational awareness, and how force feeding someone an extremely spicy kebab can get you out of trouble. (I was told it works well on multiple attackers because once you’ve “kebab’d” someone their “mates will be too busy laughing to attack you so you can leg it without needing to fight”).

It is unfortunate that some people are either not aware of the dangers of the world or are willfully ignoring them. I can do my best to give advice to people to keep them safe, but some people just don’t want to hear it. Some people would go for a run in a minefield if they believed that “people shouldn’t be putting mines there.” Agreed! People SHOULD NOT be putting mines there. But people will/did. And if you run in a mine field and put your foot in the wrong place, it’s going to be you who jumps 200 feet into the air and scatters yourself over a wide area. I don’t want you to step on a mine, but that’s the procedure if you do. (And if you understand that reference you have good taste).

Stay safe out there everyone.

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Osu!

Anthony