Don't sink to the expectations of others

Be who you want to be

The internet is a silly place

I’d like to start off this article by sharing a well known Mr Lovestein comic.

Anyone that has been on the internet for any length of time can probably relate to this. Especially if you have explored 𝕏, the website formally known as Twitter.

Being able to talk to people around the world is great. Recently there has been a bit of an algorithm shift on 𝕏 that has brought Japan and American users into close proximity. For the most part the reactions have been quite positive and wholesome, but there have been quite a few “Barfyman” style interactions that have come up of late.

I recently saw some Catholic users saying that they want Japan, as a country to be Catholic. My initial response to this was, “If you want Japan to become Catholic you don’t want Japan to remain Japanese.”

My thought when I posted that was that people who want to replace Japanese culture and religion with Catholicism don’t actually appreciate Japan for what it is and want it changing into something else.

Many people understood what I meant, but others have decided that I’m saying that the 0.34% of Japanese people who are catholic aren’t really Japanese (which I’m not). Others (non-Japanese Catholics specifically) have decided to start getting quite personal with me and keep repeatedly telling me to stop trying to push my point of view on Japan because I am not Japanese.

Some of the most ridiculous people here are non-Japanese Catholics that have spent their easter weekend going on ethnonationalist style rants and telling me to where I came from because I don’t belong in Japan and I am polluting the racial and cultural purity of the Japanese people with my mere presence. I’m not sure if Jesus would approve of that message, but here we are.

These people are of course, ridiculous. But sometimes we can learn things even from ridiculous people. So I was thinking, what are they actually asking me to do?

“Be quiet and be average”

I moved to Japan in 2006. I planned to stay in Japan for one year, sample the culture, maybe pick up a bit of Japanese, then go back to England to find a job.

After about a year in Japan I decided that I liked the place and decided to stay. I dedicated myself to studying the language and culture and I live a happy and fulfilling life. I’m a 4th dan in iaidō, I have 5 black belts, and I run marathons and ultramarathons for fun.

My idea of a good time

“You don’t belong in Japan. Why don’t you go back to England where you belong.”

All that screams to me is, “I’m uncomfortable with you doing what you are doing and I’d feel better if you would just shut up and be average.”

DON’T be average

Less than 1% of the people in the world have run a marathon. One reason why running a marathon is seen by the “average” person as impressive is exactly because running a marathon is not something the “average” person does.

If you’ve ever experienced running a marathon you are an outlier. But even among these 1% outliers there are levels. Many of my marathon running friends think I’m out of my mind for entering ultramarathons.

Some people have all the advantages in the world available to them and they still choose to be average. And I do say that they “choose to be average” because they wouldn’t be average if they just put some effort into a single field in order to be above average at something.

I have a friend who is a guide runner for runners with visual impairments. Some of the visually impaired people he runs with are able to run 5Ks quicker than a lot of people with no vision problems. One of the most inspiring people I have seen him run with is a blind, deaf triathlete who recently completed an Ironman 70.3 triathlon (1.2-mile (1.9 km) swim, 56-mile (90 km) bike ride, and 13.1-mile (21.1 km) run). No average person does this. It is only extraordinary people that do this. And the extraordinary inspire.

The discomfort of others is not my problem

I’m just living my life out here. I do martial arts and I run a lot. Some people draw inspiration from the fact that I pursue my dreams. Others feel discomfort and lash out. And that’s fine if you feel that way. But it’s not my problem. Work on yourself. Lashing out at others doesn’t make you stronger.

The people who strive to better themselves and accomplish things will always move the hearts of others.

Final thoughts and take home messages

The internet is a silly place. Sometimes we get good feedback, sometimes we get totally unreasonable feedback. It is what it is.

Some of the unreasonable feedback comes from people who are deeply insecure. Nobody who is doing great looks at other people who are doing great and tells them to stop doing what they are doing and be average. The strong lift each other up.

Being average is not something we should aspire to be. No one has ever been inspired by someone just being average.

Those who strive to better themselves do not do so to please fragile, insecure people. We do so for ourselves and to inspire others.

Embrace the grind.

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