Don't burden me with your excuses

You've got to want to achieve your goals

The endless grind

I started writing this article on Monday July 7th. When I woke up in the morning I was sore. Very sore. On July 6th I’d done a hard sprinting session first thing in the morning (20 x 200 meters, followed by a 1 km run). On the 5th I ran a steady 5K as a warm up for a 5K race followed by a 1 km run, with a karate session in the evening. From June 30th to July 4th I ran 10 km every day.

This kind of week is pretty much my life right now. As a result of this I crossed the 2,000 km mark for 2025, meaning that in 185 days I averaged 10.81 km a day.

July 5th run stats

I’m not writing this in an attempt to say, “Look how hardcore I am.” Because I know I’m not that hardcore. There are people out there who train WAY more than I do and are WAY better runners than me as a result. I have a lot of things to do, but I will always strive to make an effort to get my training in, even if it means waking up very early in the morning and running while I am incredibly sore.

I ran 10 km on the 7th. Would have been easy to stay in bed. But I dragged myself out of bed at 05:30 and made that 10K happen. It was slower than usual, but a slow 10K is just as far as a fast 10K.

The grind continues.

You’ve got to want it

I recently heard a quote from Dr. Mike Israetel. I’ll share the clip below:

If you have to ask how to get motivated to go to the gym, you don’t need to be going to the gym. You don’t want it enough. When you’re sick and tired of looking and feeling like s*it, you’ll show up motherf*cker. I’ll see you there

While Dr. Israetel mentions the gym specifically, this advice is pretty much universally applicable. You can’t get anything done if you don’t really want it. This applies to language learning, research, running, martial arts…literally everything.

If someone needs to make you do something in order for you to do it, you will stop doing it as soon as that influence is not around. I’m exactly the same. If I don’t want to do something, but I’m made to do it, I will drop it as soon as I don’t NEED to do it anymore. But if I NEED to do something I will do it even if I don’t want to.

Setting goals is very important. But you’ve got to REALLY want to achieve the goal. Goals shouldn’t be considered items on a wish list. Goals are not just “nice to have” achievements. You’ve got to REALLY want them.

If you think it would be “nice to have a black belt” then there are a two options open to you:

1. You essentially buy one by finding a low level McDōjō who will give you one for sticking around and paying fees for a long period of time.

2. You give up on your goal and never achieve it.

But if you REALLY want it, then you will find a place that will challenge you and give it your all.

A black belt shouldn’t actually be your goal by the way. The belt itself is just a visual representation of achieving a particular standard as designated by that style. When I trained in Fukuoka I spent years training in a very tough school. There were only a hand full of people with black belts in the school because the level required was so high. At my time at that school I said repeatedly that I don’t want to be given a black belt. I want to be strong enough to deserve one. It took a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to get there, including several visits to hospitals for the injuries I sustained during that period, but I kept showing up, kept pouring my heart and soul into my training, and eventually passed my test.

But it’s hard! :(

I was recently in a discussion online where an idea for a reality show was suggested that some “socialist college students” be sent to a county that closely resembles their desired political system for a few months to see how long they last. The poster I responded to expressed that this would just be a bunch of college kids be sent to Europe (as if the continent of Europe is a socialist state). But being someone with experience moving from one country to another I decided to chime in with the following statement:

The only thing stopping those kids going and living their dreams in Europe is themselves.

They are pro-immigration. They can just get a visa and live it.

After I said this I ended up getting quite a few angry responses. Here are a few of them:

• Do you think moving to another country is free?

• It’s not just about getting a visa. More people would have moved if it was that easy.

• I looked into this and the visa process to gain residency in pretty much every country is ridiculous unless you get transferred there for a job. So please explain how it’s just so easy to do this.

• Tell ya what. You pay for my move and I’ll go there and never come back.

• The ol "Just move" argument is a great self report, because only rich assholes would assume you can just up and leave

Excuse, after excuse, after excuse.

If the United States is literally unbearable to live in to the point that someone wants to leave and never come back, they would make it happen. It’s literally just, pick a place, research how to get a visa and employment in that area, and figure out how much money you need to move and get established, then focus your effort on that goal. I don’t think I’ve spoken to a person who has successfully moved to another country that hasn’t done something similar to this.

These people don’t want to improve their lives. You could literally give them everything they claim they want and they will still complain. The main reason for that is that not only do they not really WANT this, but they don’t actually know what they want. They just want their lives to improve.

On some levels it reminds me of that Post Avatar Depression Syndrome nonsense that happened a few years ago. But instead of the excuse being “I can’t go and live on a beautiful jungle planet full of blue aliens because it doesn’t exist,” the excuses for not being able to improve by lives by chasing their goals is that chasing goals requires effort.

Unserious people

Surround yourself with winners

I don’t want to deal with people who have nothing but excuses any more than I need to. When I was younger I had a mixed bag of friends. Some of those people grew up and became very successful. Others simply grew older.

Last weekend I hosted a get together at my place. All of the people I invited to that were either very experienced runners or aspiring runners. One of my guests is running his first marathon this year. Another one of my guests is a former professional runner. The thing that my guests had in common was that they are passionate runners that all work enthusiastically to be better at their craft.

If I invited someone who started saying, “I wish I could run like you guys,” but blew off any and all advice about how to improve, I think everyone would have been annoyed. It’s a waste of time to give advice to people who have no intention of acting on it.

When you are ready, you’ll show up. We’ll see you there

People who are good at something are usually happy to help people who are genuinely looking for advice but don’t know how to get started to improve. If a new guy joins my dōjō, I’m happy to see them attending classes, having fun, and getting stronger. Especially if they are younger than me because in a few years if they keep it up they will be the ones keeping me sharp. But if a new guy joins my dōjō, makes excuses, doesn’t listen, and is generally a headache to be around then I just don’t want to be around them and might need to “educate” them on the proper way to behave.

Preparing the next generation.

As I’ve gotten older my attitude has very much become, “You can come along if you want but you’ve got to keep up.” If I see someone sinking into a metaphorical swamp, I’ll either drag them out (by their throat if necessary), or just leave them behind. The people who are getting a helping hand are the ones that want to be helped. The ones being left behind are the ones that just expect to be rescued and won’t even lift a finger to help themselves. The people who want to live, and I mean really live are the ones who will become the kind of winners you want in your life. Don’t waste your time with people who might end up just dragging you down.

Final thoughts and take home messages

Nothing worth doing in life is easy. Literally everything requires effort. If you want to be a good runner, you have to run a lot. If you want to be a good fighter, you need to fight a lot. If you want to be a good linguist, you need to study a lot. The process is simple, but it’s not easy.

You can literally show some people exactly what they need to do in order to achieve their goals and they will make every excuse in the book to avoid doing it. If they used that energy on doing things instead of making excuses they’d get a lot more done.

I don’t have time for people who only want to make excuses. I avoid them. What I do is actively surround myself with people who are either good at things or are moving in the direction to being good at things. I don’t want naysayers bringing down my energy.

Set a goal and go for it. When you’re ready, you’ll show up. We’ll see you there.

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Osu!

Anthony